Dissertation Diaries

Part One

The final year at University is synonymous with one thing - the dreaded dissertation.

Not for me though. I can’t wait to get my teeth stuck into what I plan to write about.

As a student of Philosophy, Religion and Ethics (no, I don’t want to become a priest) I’m fascinated by the big stuff, the mind-blowing stuff and the terrifying stuff.

So, when I’m not having an existential crisis, I am having a good time and enjoying myself.

After two years of covering much, from discussing my guy Augustine, to the ethics of killing, I’ve decided to take the most depressing route I can think of (because who wouldn’t want to do that) and write/research about death.

More specifically, grief.

We won’t get too personal quite yet, but it’s a topic that I could think about forever. Loss, love, friendship, life, death, religion, the afterlife(?). What else is much more gripping than all of that?

There’s lots to write about but I’ll be patient. There’ll be many parts to the Dissertation Diaries, this is just the introduction.

Let’s get into it then.

It’s the tragedy of grief that I love so much, the pure emotion. So, to begin this series, I’d like to start with a quote that has inspired a lot of my thinking over the last year or so:

“I poured my soul into the sand by loving a man, doomed to death, as though he were never to die." (The Confessions by Saint Augustine of Hippo).

Translation: it was irrational and silly for Augustine to love his friend so much, knowing that this man would inevitably die. He loved him and treasured his friendship with him as though it were never to come to an end. Thus, when it did, Augustine was beside himself.

Augustine berates himself for thinking like this *Picture stupid Dobby* and eventually changes his attitude towards grief to become much more centred around God.

Augustine may not but I think this image of grief is beautiful. I think it’s accurate. We love our friends, and our families, and our partners, as if it’ll never come to an end - we think we have forever. But we don't, and that is why I think grief can be so hard. Death comes as a shock each time, despite us knowing that it will happen.

Life’s a funny thing isn’t it? Just food for thought.

Love, Victoria